Decoding Trust- A Mathematical Approach

naïve or experienced, young or old, we all in our lifetime have this one
5-letter word making us call out the usual 4-letter word that starts with
letter “F”.

why is ‘Trust’ as a word used more and understood less? Is it one of the
necessities of leading a meaningful life? Is it too basic a word to break it
further? What is it after all?

attempt at approaching this ‘Trust’ thing started 2 hour ago when idling on bed
to recover from a bad cold, I could not think of anything more meaningful. So
interpret what I say below at your discretion. May be for me it’s a time pass…

= TRU + US + ST

simple terms:

truthfulness; US= You and I ; ST = Statement (i.e. relating to communication,


a. Unlike
‘Belief’ which is an individual attribute, ‘Trust’ is a dependent attribute impacting
the intensity of TRUST

b. Truthfulness
is a constant which is governed by habits, desires and passion. All of these
attributes develop over the years and are a function of family background,
culture, education, behaviors and past experience relating to ‘Trust’ as a

c. The
equality while presented as a simple function is not so. It’s a far more complex
due to introduction of lag variable of ‘TRUST’. In other words, TRUST equation
is a time-series function and hence past experiences impact the future
In econometric (time lag variable)- Trust(t) is impacted by Trust(t-1….)

d. ‘ST’ Statement here is assumed to be a function of ‘Art of Communication’ X (Tone + Language).

e. The
equation differentiates between ‘Tone’ and ‘Language’ akin to the 4-letter work
starting from letter ‘f’…explained by Osho as Verb, Noun, adjective,
intransitive verb, anger, surprise etc. I hope my readers have heard that
famous preaching of Osho. Link to the video is here –
I was done with stating the Trust Equation, I ‘googled’ to avoid re-inventing
the wheel and to my surprise Google had an answer:
Credibility +
Reliability + Intimacy    DIVIDED BY    Self-orientation
the equation defined by me above is not very different from equation above. However,
the relation between the variables in above equation is better expressed as
given below:
Credibility + Trust
(from past) + {(Reliability X Intimacy)    DIVIDED BY    Self-orientation}
can have only two values -1 or +1 . I am deliberately avoiding the infinity
notion here since we all have a defined life.

simplify the interaction amongst the variables we assume that all the variables
can either have a minus 1 or a plus 1.

possible solutions to the equation are:

Please read + 1 as YES and -1 as NO.

the above illustration explains that we can either HAVE Trust or NOT HAVE
Trust. No other possibility exists.

A Changed ‘WE’ Indian

Gone are the times when we Indians believed in sticking to one brand, service, product or routine. In last 2 decades we switched over from Maruti, forgot Doordarshan ( National television broadcaster) and Bajaj was not ‘Hamaara’ anymore. We soon realized that CRT television occupied more space and hence justifying an expensive switch over to LCD. But the wall hanging feature of the LCD television did not help doing away with the table or the cabinet below. Its now occupied by the set-up box of DTH, a gaming console and or a ultra hi-tech music system. 
With cable television our lifestyle evolved. Dinner that was done between 7-8 pm is now either prepared after the prime time slot of 8-9 pm or served as a repeat-of what is claimed to be a left over- lunch. The fact though is that lunch was quite smartly cooked in extra quantity to save time for the leisure in evening. 
Our female counterparts, at least the married ones, loved cooking and doing household chores. Even those with a career, rarely thought of wishing away the basic duties of cooking food, washing utensils or spending more quality time with in-laws, kids and hubby. 
However, today when the families appreciate the taste of food-if its worth a mention- goes to the maid, either directly or indirectly. The husband for sure has a soft corner for the maid for feeding him but never forgets to say, “You have trained her quite well. She cooks the way you do.” The wife though in no bargain position with her maid utters some hard words-not when the maid is around though. She goes onto say, “Its not she who cooked. Its me. She just helped.” How could she ever allow the appreciation from husband pass-on to the maid?
Further, on routine and lifestyle changes- Bata shoes are no longer good for any fitness regime. Nike and Adidas are the basic need. 4-wheeler is a necessity more as a status symbol and attuning to comfort over affordability. Though its justified as a more safe choice when moving on road. Today, teens are allowed to drive a car but not a two-wheeler. For bicycles the thinking is, “Buying a bicycle is waste of money and then where do we have apace for it.”
2 gb hard disk was akin to space on moon but we never hesitated to go for 40 gb or even larger hard disks.  The reason- “Data back-up is important for me.” Though its only occupied with the Bollywood-Hollywood movies, pornography, songs and pictures.
Shopping from mall is convenient for us. We explain it-“We as a family get the option to choose our own product and that too in one go.” Buying from kiraana is still thriving only because of the ease of home delivery otherwise its a matter of self-respect to buy from kiraana store- “what will people think of us”
Earlier ‘what will people think of us’ was a question to answer when wide/sister/mother wore a jeans; when our daughter/son revolted to marry their love from a different caste; when our kid opted to pursue career in a sport and study further. Today, we worry about- I don’t have a better car, My kids do not converse in English language, We do not holiday once a year, I don’t buy branded clothes etc. 
Holiday with family has become a much more planned activity. No more impulsive trips. Further, going for solo trips i.e. without family is also what we have got accustomed to. We took years to get accustomed to 
If we try to review the changes within us we can easily conclude that its no longer ‘A loyal, stable, sincere and sticky Indian. Its an ‘looking for new and better choices’ that describes us better whether its for products, services or lifestyle. 

I will soon be a Senior citizen

On Feb 18 2014 when I got up at 6 am and sipped bed tea, I expressed, “Half my youth was spent in knowing what to do while remaining half is being spent on doing things that I am otherwise not suppose to do.” So does that mean I could not know what was I destined to do and what am I doing?

I never knew what I liked or enjoyed doing. All the liking/disliking that I ever had was deep inside my mind and imagination. The life’s routine, challenges and schedules never let me dare to let it flow freely out into action. 

However, this started changing two years back when I decided to let my impulsiveness have a free run in my life. Since then I have same time and routine but I am more happy since I still find time to do things that I love. I have read more books than I read in last 15 years, cycled more than 5700 km, clicked more photographs vis-a-vis nil since childhood. I became more receptive to make new friends though no major success achieved. My truthfulness and frankness continues to defeat me to make friends.

When I was 22 years, I got married to my love without a thought if I will ever complete my education. My only hope to ever have a stable income to support my family was from my successful completion of post graduation. Somehow I graduated. 

Things moved on since then…If I recollect correctly I never thought 10 years ahead. My thinking was….”I have a long way to go. Its just first few years and then I will be free to do what I am destined to do and enjoy my life the way I want to.” 

With every passing year, I became more rationale and reasonable. My mind was winning every debate with my heart reasoning that time was lost and now there was no choice but to drag-on, move-on. My heart and feelings for things I wanted to do were reduced to day dreams that I could afford to enjoy only during weekends.  

So I decided to approach it differently. Why can I not believe that I have a short period before I grow old and finally lose the battle to my mind. I wanted to give a final chance to my heart to have a free run. I said to myself, “I just have 2 years before I retire. I will be a senior citizen in two years.” This is fueling the ember of my desires to burst into action before the time is lost forever. 

Will I extend the deadline further………?

Exhaust for our lives

Romanticism is not felt only when in love. It can be felt in any feeling that may come to us. We live a life replete with uncertainties. Being hopeful is a trait that is very natural to us. ‘Being hopeful’ is a romantic feeling to have and defines optimism in simple words. 
But the intensity of feelings associated with “Hope” vary across individuals. For some its the pessimism that is interspersed in optimism while for some its optimism that is peppered between pessimistic feelings. But why does this vary across individuals? Philosophers and leaders talk about optimism as a trait and explain what it is to be optimistic. 
But how can we ensure as a process that we are always optimistic? Here I draw an analogy to an exhaust fan. Unlike other fans that have an air movement inwards towards us, exhaust fan expels the air outside away from us. 
Similarly, our lives are full of events that impacts us positively and/ or negatively and we should all provision for an exhaust fan in our lives. It will work to expel the undesirable and negative away from us. Till the time its well oiled anything undesirable should stay away from us and not within. 
One of my favorite quotes about life is “Live all you can – it’s a mistake not to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven’t had that, what have you had?”
 “TO BE HOPEFUL in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.
And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” – Howard Zinn

I Wonder – Series 3

In continuation of earlier “I Wonder” series:

21. We all know what a feeling it is to lay our head on mother’s lap and sleep. When I rest my head on my 4 year old daughter’s lap with her hands on my forehead, I fall asleep in a minute. I wonder why?

22. We all know that money is one important variable in our life and we end-up giving more than 70% of our time towards it. Still, an open acknowledgement of this truth is considered to be unprofessional and invites censures of being too materialistic. I wonder why?

23. “Time” is never stationary. Its a fact. F
acing the challenges head-on is what we have heard since childhood and we as adults continue to nurture our kids with such values. On the contrary, we resist any change that may need additional effort to deal with it. We never learned that “Change” is a norm of life. I wonder why? 

24. Its not about reciting mantras and offering prayers when we talk of winning God. Bulleh Shah ji states in one of his kalaams-

“makke giyaan gal mukdi naain

paave sou sou jumme parh aaiye

ganga giyaan gal mukdi naain

paave sou sou gaute khaaiye

bhulleh shah gal tayun mukdi

je main nu manno ganvaaiye”. 
We have had many great sufi saints who preached to loose our ego, our “I” first. The message is simple and clear and we still live only for “I”, shielding it, defending it. I wonder why?
25. We as parents want our children to be the way we want them to be. We want our life partner to avoid discussions where we disagree. After growing up when our parents get dependent on us we want them to live their life as per our instructions. Likewise, at work we want our reportees to be resources at our disposal. We desire to control everything in order to make them happen as per our expectations. We in literal sense, want to take “Control” of all events in life. I wonder why?

I Wonder – Series 2

11. I wonder why i believe the wealthiness of a person is directly proportional to fairness of his/her skin.

12. I wonder why we complain for lack of cleanliness of toilets in trains when we are the ones to be blamed for its improper use.

13. I wonder why more traffic on Mondays and Fridays

14. Brushing gently and vertically is right way still I wonder why majority of us never learnt it.

15. Gujarat is a dry state. I wonder what would be the cost of a bottle of liquor here.

16. Love is better expressed through actions. I wonder why we all still expect an avowal statement “I Love You”.

17. I wonder why one gets more likes on pics than on content or update shared online. Is it ease of a quick glance and clicking “like” more out of habit?

18. I wonder if quantum of work is inversely proportional to time available.

19. I wonder if cycling will ever be a national sport of India.

20. I wonder why as a father I have to put up a stolid expression on my face.