Its been 15 years since I got married and never thought about the regrets i.e. side effects of my relation with my wife. The trailers of the newly released movie made me rethink if I ever had any of the issues/regrets that were a direct outcome of my marriage.
The greatness of my relation with my wife ( I have now stopped naming her openly confirming to advise of my close friend who said, “apne pyaar ke numaish karna..please stop doing it.”) was, I never had to worry about issues like: a) Which side of bed should I sleep? b) I never had to worry about who will use the washroom first in the morning. c) Who will clean the toilets? d) What should she or I wear when we sleep? e) Any specific time or occasion to get intimate. f) Who cooks? g) Who washes clothes?
I am not sure if she has any such side-effects with me. But I, post listing them above, am very sure that I never ever had to worry about such things in our relation post marriage. Our post marriage life moved on since then freely without (at least for me) without worrying for any adjustments or sacrifices made. But it seems too true to believe. I too had side-effects of my marriage. I intend to list them down here:
Even when I was still a full time MBA student post my marriage, I felt like working. May be this feeling was overwhelming since she was working and I was still a student. I always wanted to do more than what she did to run our family.
I always owned or leased a residence that it of size more than what we need. When we got married, my mother-in-law had said, “Is this the small one room where you expect my daughter to live with you?” Since when I started working, I ensured we lived in an oversized apartment and a locality that is host to wealthy and more prosperous than us.
I never realized that I kept bragging about my wife. How good she was? How important she was in my life? How our love story was a success and happy one?
I was more withdrawn socially. I never missed my relatives. No one other than her had any importance in my life. I felt like winning a battle.
I feared the future. Will I be able to ensure financial security to my family- kids, parents and wife?
I always believed that its only the first few years. One day, I will have lots of time to be free to pursue what I loved- lots of free time for my cycling, photography etc. I was wrong. I missed doing anything significant in last 13 years of my marriage.
I never wanted to father a second kid. But then, I finally did and she turned out to be an angel who is making our lives – my daughter’s, wife’s and mine- even more brighter.
I never believed myself to be special. But with constant nagging from my wife, I have somehow gained some confidence that I may be one day good enough to be in this world.
My hair turned white when I was only 32 years.
I became very talkative. I began to believe that I can win any argument and can never be wrong in what I believe or reason. But the fact is that I have lost that habit of mine to connect with anyone I feel like- at least as per my wife.
I will keep having many more side-effects and may be in another 15 years of my marriage I may re-write this blog again.