Second thought

Contrary to my impulsiveness, I have begun learning about my second thoughts as well. I have quite a few of them, usually. 
Second thoughts are welcome but the moment they curb my feelings of independence or make me insecure, I desist from encouraging them further. As a consequence, I may have taken decisions that turn out to be wrong but then as a second thought I can take pride to dare taking those.

I had a second thought on whether the decision to move to a smaller city will work. I had a second thought on whether my elder daughter should comtinue for one more year at a boarding school. I had a second thought everytime I wanted to change my job. I had a second thought to be an entrepreneur instead. 

I was critiqued in past for being open about my second thoughts. In hindi I was said, “Thali ka baigan” which means akin to a brinjal in a plate that can swing on either side. One of my friend rates me as an individual who can argue both ‘for’ and ‘against’. 

As a second thought, I realized that this may be a trait that world fails to reckon with. I read Karl Popper on ‘Logic on Scientific Discovery’ and Nassim Nicholas Taleb on ‘Fooled by Randomness’. 

As a second thought I am a special one to be living…