Questions- sincere attempt at self-introspecton

Why do I tend to get upset when people disagree with me? Is it arrogance? Is it some unpleasant experience that comes to influence my behavior towards a particular person or a situation?

Why do I keep reasoning within, I am right? Why can I not shut my mouth for matters I may have opinion on but not utter anything?

Why Am I so over enthusiastic and then on facing a little criticism, I fall apart? 

Why will I fall into words, moods or opinions of others and make them my own understanding and feelings?

Why am I not learning from my past mistakes and repeated ones in similar situations? 

Why do I try to go overboard in building a repo as a performer in employment? 

Why am I so insecure? Why am I so insecure about a job? Why did I forget so soon, the desperation when I quit my last job and unemployed for 4 months?

Why do I fail to realize that the world is both smart and fool to know your shortcomings?

Is it my too sincere a feedback that may bring people to connect with me but subsequently withdraw as well?

Am I too adamant as a human?

What is my problem in life?

Am I not trustworthy? Am I an opportunist? Am I risk averse?

Have I ever loved anyone truly other than Monica? Why does she continues to be an anchor in my life?

Why do I regret when I forget to consciously remember my daughter who is in a boarding school? 

Am I too sick/fool/lazy to priortize in my life? Am I inefficient? 

When will I be my true self? 

Am I a fool? Am I clever? Am I an atheist? Am I a manipulator? 

Are all of the above words of a pessimist?