Life throws lessons at us that we didn't ask for. I can't remember much about my accident. After giving my wife's number to the person who found me, everything went black. But some moments are still there in my mind.
It rained hard and without warning. The rain stopped in an hour. Puddles were everywhere on the road. After getting my bike fixed, it felt lighter. I gave the throttle a little twist, and it sped up nicely. I felt good about the repair. I leaned forward, close to the handlebars. Why?
I don't know. I was going fast, but not too fast, maybe around 70 km/hr. The last thing I remember is lifting my head and trying to sit straight.
Today, it's a weekend, but it feels just like any weekday since August 9, 2023. Restarting life is on my mind. It seems boring. Before I know it, the slowness of this healing time will be gone. The "newness" will fade.
I've been feeling mixed emotions. I thought, why not make this healing time special? I'm not down in the dumps anymore. My mood has shifted. My memory is helping me forget the bad stuff. After six weeks, I meditated like I used to before the accident. One thing is different though—I'm not scared or worried anymore. Is this a new me or just a phase?
My feelings come and go like songs on a playlist. Sometimes we can pick our songs; sometimes we can't. One song that speaks to me now is "Us more se shuru karein phir yeh zindagi." It captures my journey perfectly.
Other songs that mean a lot to me right now are:
1. "Zindagi Mein To Sabhi Pyar Kiya Karte Hain" - Mehdi Hasan
2. "Tum Ko Dekha To Yeh Khayal Aaya" - Jagjit Singh
3. "Rafta Rafta Woh Meri" - Mehdi Hasan
4. "Hoshwalon Ko Khabar Kya" - Jagjit Singh
5. "Ranjish Hi Sahi" - Mehdi Hasan
6. "Tum Itna Jo Muskura Rahe Ho" - Jagjit Singh
7. "Gulon Mein Rang Bhare" - Mehdi Hasan
8. "Hoshwalon Ko Khabar Kya" - Mehdi Hasan
9. "Chithi Na Koi Sandesh" - Jagjit Singh
10. "Jo Wada Kiya Woh" - Mehdi Hasan
11. Mohabbat Karne Waale kam ba honge- Mehdi Hasan
Music helps me but not much- my playlist of recovery
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