Approaching employment

We have moved on from Taylorism but still take refuge under it. When are we going to stop behaving as employees? When are we going to start taking our jobs as being self-employed?

The world of business and relations has moved on. When are we going to stop taking refuge in labor laws and irrational emotions?

There are so many notable differences in mannerisms, at work, of ones born in 1990s vs the ones before. But taking refuge or being defensive seems to be an attribute so common.

If this does not change ASAP, we are all in serious trouble- employers and employees. The best solution for employer-employee relation is to behave as businessmen in this world.

Girls who keep me alive

If I remember correctly, I was in 7th class when father returned with a computerised horoscope of me. He was travelling to Punjab, I suppose. I picked up the (A3 paper size) bunch (almost a PhD thesis), as if the horoscope was of a special avataar, finally born. I asked my father, “What’s so special about this?” He said, “It’s believed to be more accurate.” A detailed easy to comprehend description was one of the key differentiators to the horoscope prepared by Astrologers with no access to software. I visualized it  as script of a movie soon to be made.

One thing that I remember embarrassed me was the mention of having good relations with girls. The line read as follows, “In due course you will have a great professional repo and have girls as friends. You will enjoy very good relations with all of them.” I never looked like a Casanova with long thin nose and two large ears of an elephant. Then I have a broad forehead that speaks of the quantum of luck I have in my destiny  but makes me look bald. Girls have spoken about my calm gestures and my nature to be prompt in finding a reason to laugh.

I am turning 40 in next 9 months and have been successful in being ‘just friends’ with girls known in school, college and then work life. I have not fallen for anyone in my neighbourhood though. I will not be naming any of them except mentioning the key traits that keep them in my memories and makes me yearn for them.

Madam A – Mature to her age, loud and open but with no hints for unexpected advances from boys. I have studied with her for 10 years in school. I remember her for the respect she has always commanded in my thoughts.

Madam B – Slim figure with long legs and cute soft face is what I recall her for. She was select few to be tall amongst girls I have known. I remember her for her voice and smiles. And now I am  back in touch with her and thank God she feels she should have known me more in those years.

Madam C – She has sharp features, a photogenic face with attractive lips. She is loved for being independent but no hint of self-importance. She can seek help at the slightest need for it and quite effortlessly. When I met her 23 years after, I feel the urge to be in touch with her forever. She is a friend to keep in touch for rest of my life.

Madam D – She was the one to take lot of liberties with me but then what makes me happy is that never did she doubt my intentions and never did she have to worry for anything unpleasant from my side. I was enjoying my teens with having her around. May be just for a couple of years but unforgettable bond I shared. I don’t know about her.

Madam E – First time when she sought my attention was when my eyes fell on her long hair loosely hanging from a red coloured scrunchy just above her neck line. She was in wearing jeans. It was not before a year later that I happen to find her as a student of our school. She has been an attention seeker despite too slim a body (compared to today’s models), especially in those years. Her smile and length of her skirt kept me attracted to her legs.

Madam F – I remember her from primary days at Gulmohar school for the stylish walk that she had. The edges of her skirts use to swing like a pendulum and hit popliteal fossa (back of knee) diagonally. A charming girl who is now sure to be a great mother.

Madam G – I did not like her carefree nature in 1990s when I first met her. But then the credit of helping me find my love goes to her. Over the time she has been tying rakhi to me. She has over the years lost her wittiness and gained some weight both in her thoughts and body. Phir bhi meri bahan moti nahi hai.

Madam H – She understands me lots. I enjoy getting angry with her because she lets it go away as if nothing happened. She does not let me utter a single negative thought. A selfless and committed girl to know and cherish provided someone dares to win her heart. I will know her for rest of my life.

Madam I – An effortless mentor kind of a relationship with no serious expectations from each other. We have built a routine to talk briefly and  it’s to the point. I usually know her more than she knows me but then I do not hesitate to speak my mind and seek her views in matters impacting my life. She at times quite effortlessly points to mistakes I am about to make.

I pray to God for a healthy and sexy life for all of them. I will like to date some of them for rest of my life with first date within next 9 months. This is so since I am turning 40 and to have some beauties to keep you feel young when growing old is better dated once before turning 40.

Its about professionalism!


We were expecting guests at home on Sunday afternoon. The family was supposed to come for lunch and most likely to stay with us till the end of the day. The day before, in the evening my wife was taking the trouble to put the house in order. My kids, anxious and excited (since we do not have many visitors to our place) prepared well to share all that they owned with their would-be friends. Just when I was to start my set of activities to prepare for their visit, the phone rang and the gentleman with a very lame excuse explained his inability to make it. The gentleman did not sound convincing and it did not require any great philosophical insights to judge it. Never mind, if they could not make it.

With extra time at my disposal I thought of penning my thoughts on a statement that I heard earlier, “I believe in maintaining boundaries between ‘personal’ and ‘professional’ relation”. I do not remember exactly the time but I have expressed my feelings on this in my blogs earlier as well. 

Despite the definition of ‘professionalism’ is available at a click, I re-state the same- 

Definition 1- the conduct, aims, or qualities that characterize or mark a profession

Definition 2- the following of a profession (as athletics) for gain or livelihood

Most of the times, I have seen people confuse the two and understand only the second definition. 

In behavioral terms, ‘professionalism’ is WRONGLY understood to be:

1. I have to ensure always, about carrying the traits that classifies me as a doctor, manager, entrepreneur etc. 

2. I have to show the best conduct possible with my colleagues. Never mind whether it comes from within. 

3. Always try to be rational to draw all conclusions with the belief that rationality is an exclusive gift from God.

4. Be smart to know the ‘timing’ when to utter what and get maximum advantage if any, the art of communication offers.

5. Close all discussions and involvement once out of work. 

Not many will agree to what I stated above. I will not risk my so called ‘professional’ stance by generalizing the behavior all humans in this world and then get it into a justification mode. Its my perception and I am free to express my perception openly. Atleast this is quite ‘Professional’ on my part (..pun intended)

‘Professionalism’ for me constitutes:

1. The good conduct should extend to our families and friends as well. We cannot be having a dual personality and further complicate our simple short life. We have to respect the individuality of our kids, wife, parents, maid at home or a childhood friend. While they expect a more transparent expression we cannot hold them victim to any of our negative experiences by being disrespectful and rude to them. 

2. True professionalism is not operating from a position of power. Its not only about economic dependence. Its emotional dependence as well. 

3. At work, professionalism is about not being biased.

4. Building a connection nurtures an efficient work culture. What better than build relations with those you work more than 50 hours per week. I am not saying we become an open register at the entrance of a library that is signed by anyone.We will be limited by the sheer constraint of ‘span of control’. You cannot be known well to more than 5 or max 10 in case of a special human being.  

5. We are all in this world for a reason and it is nothing bad about it. We achieve most with cooperation and working together.